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DWF: Divorced White Female -- EPUB

  • Ditched by her husband, sassy Cheryl Chandler hunts for love to prove her worth—even at the expense of her idiosyncratic kids.
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Release Date:
October 1, 2014
ISBN:
9781612524559
Cover Artist:
Carol Fiorillo

Product Description

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Sassy, unsaved and desperate, Cheryl Chandler realizes one thing will redeem her from her ex-husband’s betrayal. A man. Any man—so long as he’s hot.

Finding love in rural New York proves a daunting challenge. Should she find her man, he must meet her quirky teens whose eccentricities range from New Age ideology, to OCD, to religious fanaticism. And a toddler—her husband’s parting gift. What man would love her and accept them?

Her kids have the solution—online dating.

Here she meets two men. Religious fanatic, Tarrant, charms her, but is too pious.

And mysterious Carleton who’s everything her desperation desires. However, nothing is as it seems.

Can she sacrifice her family for love?

Excerpt

I slumped onto my bathroom floor, closed my eyes, and imagined myself in Versace sunglasses with a .357 Magnum. I'd hunt down Martin, blow the heat from my gun, stash it in my charcoal grey, Burberry trench coat, and ride off with a Clint Eastwood look alike. After the deed was done, I'd celebrate with a magnum of champagne. Or a Magnum ice cream.

Yep. That would be one solution.

Not the answer to this one.

With new resolve, I picked up the stick and squinted.

Blue lines. They didn't change color. My bluster slipped away like smoke from the snub nosed .357.

"Holy Toledo."

I didn't use those exact words. I didn't actually bless any Ohio city or anything else. My language that morning was as blue as the lines on the EPT stick.

I thought I had passed the pregnancy phase and blissfully entered menopause -- my golden years of bridge games and cruises and cocktail parties. The kids could care for themselves. Sort of.

At last, Taylor had abandoned his dreadlock-headed punk phase and would start high school this fall. My daughter Bobbie still proved labor intensive, but at least Andi had completed her first year at North Country Community College.

Correction. In college, but not settled. What was she studying? Massage therapy. As a high school senior, she applied for the music therapy program, then switched into art therapy last year. Now this. All this time, I had thought massage was a euphemism for prostitution. Weren't TV cops always apprehending sexy, skinny, beautiful 'masseuses' -- girls not unlike Andi, despite her purple, spiky hair? I learned to deal with her vegetarianism, her Indian Ying/Yang whatever, but a career rubbing bodies? Would a cop one day come knocking at my door and arrest my daughter for massaging pervs?

Despite his obsession with religion, I still feared the cops with Taylor. With McIntyre out of the picture and Jesus in it, maybe we cleared that hurdle. Despite Taylor's religious kick, he acted normal again. He went to school, did his homework, visited friends, wanted to be a forensic computer specialist. Insisted we say grace.

Or as normal as a fourteen-year-old boy with an obsession for Jesus could be.

Obsessions.

My whole family was obsessed. Or possessed.

With worries about my children, tears flooded once more. I leaned against the wall and cried. I didn't bother to break the toilet paper off the roll, just pulled the thin, cottony sheets like one of those old towel rollers in public restrooms my mother told me about. You'd pull the cloth towel, which would go around and around in circles, recycling the same two feet of yucky material. If luck found you, a semi-clean, semi-dry bit of cloth would materialize, and you could dry your hands.

If my youngest daughter Bobbie encountered a recycled towel, she'd bathe in Betadine for a week.

At any rate, I pulled the toilet paper, blew my nose, felt the damp seep through. I tugged to find a dry spot, let the tissue rip, wiped my eyes and repeated the process.

Then I really let it rip. I shredded Martin, tore down Nora, then bawled my eyes out, not bothering to stifle my choking sobs. I guess I wasn't finished with tears.

 


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Product Reviews

  1. Great Characters, Fun Story 5 Star Review

    Posted by on 27th Oct 2014

    Do you want a Christian redemption story that's not preachy and is easy to relate to? This is the book for you.

    Do you want a character you can relate to instead of some weird mash up of Martha Stewart and Giselle? This is the book for you.

    Do you want humor and romance that isn't predictable and stays below an R rating? This is the book for you.

    Cheryl is a lovable, relatable main character. She has all the positive qualities you want in a main character to really be able to pull for her and just enough chaotic characteristics to make her unpredictable and endearing. She messes up, she freaks out, she succeeds.

    The supporting cast of characters is well developed. They support Cheryl's story beautifully and all serve important roles in the development of the plot and Cheryl's character. You know these people in real life and it's fun to see them come to life throughout this book.

    I have thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. Currently rereading it. I highly recommend it.



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